Friends and Friendly.

If the first break up with Samuel broke Rémy, the second one all but shattered him. He had never been skilled at handling his own emotions, let alone others. He felt strange, guilty for some reason. He saw Samuel in the halls and in the canteen and felt like a ghost. He didn't know whether he should acknowledge him and soothe the awkwardness or if he should avoid him. Afterall, he had proven to be a risk to Rémy's physical well being as much as his mental health. He also did not know how to handle Jeremy's temper these days. He seemed to bristle whenever Samuel entered the room and it was all Rémy could do to keep him silent. He was only trying to protect him and Rémy valued that.

In fact, despite the bond they shared for many years, it seemed they had only grown closer during the rough moments of Rémy's breakup. They had always been protective of each other, but Jeremy was a far more intimidating person to have making verbal and physical threats than Rémy could ever hope to be. He felt safe when he was with Jeremy and so he stayed by his side as often as he could. Rumors had gone around that the two were dating, Jeremy had little personal boundaries and Rémy had grown used to having him all over him at random intervals.

The two shared a room, several classes and many interests. They shared long conversations ranging from lighter, more friendly debates to indepth discussions and meaningful heart to hearts. Rémy had hardly noticed how close he had gravitated toward his room-mate, that was until the two were heading back from the mall after school and he leant to grasp Jeremy's hand. It was such a small gesture, perhaps meaningless to some, but when he felt the warmth of Jeremy's hand against his own he was both reminded of time spent with Samuel and made aware of how he was begining to feel for Jeremy.

If anyone ever asked what one word would best describe Jeremy’s relationship with his longtime friend, inseparable would be the winner by far. Ever since he and Rémy had met in Kindergarten, the two of them would always be seen together, be it sharing crayons during drawing time, sharing lunches during recess, or the visits to each other’s houses nearly every other day, and thanks to Jeremy’s persistence in maintaining their friendship early on, the two of them grew closer than brothers in the many years that they’d been a duo.

Jeremy knew that, despite all outward appearances, Rémy hated being by himself, so he had always made sure that his best friend wasn’t without his company when he was available to do so. When Sam had first entered the picture, Jeremy had been absolutely ecstatic and supportive when the Australian and Rémy started dating, thinking that the growing relationship meant that Rémy was starting to open up more to other people besides just him, and he was so proud of his friend for it. However, when the subsequent break-ups left Rémy cold and even more tightly locked within himself, Jeremy spent more time than ever at his friend’s side.

He cared deeply for Rémy, and the days following Sam only seemed to intensify those feelings of protectiveness and the need to make the other smile. It wasn’t unusual for Jeremy to be in close physical contact with Rémy due to his lack of requiring personal space, but this time, as he squeezed the other’s hand in his own, he was more aware than ever of Rémy and just how much he didn’t want to let him go.

Suddenly, he felt himself being overwhelmed with self conciousness. Was anybody watching? He had to be careful, anything that could be gossip would be gossip at their school. For Boys, they could be so catty. Then, another awkward feeling, what if Jeremy didn't want his hand to be held. Sure, he was gay and had no problem throwing himself over Rémy, but hand holding seemed taboo. Like it was crossing a line that the two of them had been dancing toward since what felt like forever. However, it was only now that Jeremy was the sole person Rémy trusted. The only person he would confide in, or really COULD confide in. He didn't feel like trusting others was worth it to him at this point.

He almost pulled his hand away, until he felt the squeeze. He was almost scared to look up. He didn't want Jeremy to laugh at him, though it seemed so in character for him to do. He felt so fragile, like something might shatter if the other boy didn't take him seriously. At the same time, he felt his heart skip a beat and he held on tighter. This was strange. This was...Jeremy. He was his friend, not his boyfriend. He wasn't even his type. He felt himself asking if it mattered. Jeremy understood him and he was positive he would never harm him. He was always there when he needed him and he protected Rémy so viciously. What more does one look for in a love interest?

His cheeks a little pink, he stopped in his tracks, looking up at Jeremy and trying to meet his eyes. "..Jeremy?" He asked in a soft voice, he tried not to sound as terrified as he felt.

Whatever this feeling for Rémy was, it certainly wasn't new to Jeremy. Maybe it hadn't been as strong as it had been these past few weeks, but there was no doubt in his mind that he thought of Rémy as more than a friend. Not a boyfriend, but there were still more than a few lines that only Rémy had been allowed to cross even without the title. The physical line was certainly one of them, and it already felt natural for the two of them to be a little more touchy feely than he and his other friends were, so the simple gesture of handholding was far from unwelcome. Still, he was about to poke a bit of fun at his friend for it as he usually would until he was tugged to a halt and turned around to see how vulnerable Rémy seemed to be. His mouth snapped shut to stop his joke before it began, those would have to wait a while for now.

Without letting go of Rémy's hand, Jeremy continued to step forward before turning so that he stood in front of his friend with his full, undivided attention on him. "Yeah, what's up?" He could tell something was running through the other's head that was making him nervous, so he stroked his thumb comfortingly over the back of Rémy's hand to try and put him more at ease. They were friends, after all, there was no need for the other to be scared of him.

The harder Rémy thought about what he wanted to say, the less sense it began to make in his head. He opened his mouth to speak as Jeremy circled him and felt himself shrink down and shy away. He felt so nervous all of a sudden, he regretted opening his mouth at all. He trusted Jeremy and he felt safe with Jeremy, but he just couldn't word what he wanted to say. It made him feel extremely frustrated.

Hanging his head to keep his eyes away from Jeremy's, he muttered a soft, almost grumpy sounding "Nozhing" and tried to tug his hand from Jeremy's so he could keep walking ahead. It has been established many times, but he continued to realise how terrible he was with emotions.

Okay, Jeremy could definitely tell something was bothering Rémy now. Whenever Rémy started to say something but brushed it off only seconds after, it had always meant in the past that there was something on the other's mind that he just didn't know how to say out loud. Squeezing his friend's hand a little tighter, Jeremy refused to let him go, though he did step back a bit so they could walk side by side instead.

"C'mon, Rémy, what is it?" he continued to press, giving the other a small nudge with his arm. "I can tell when you're not tellin' me something." And with how obvious Rémy's frustration was, there was no way that Jeremy was going to leave it alone now that he'd seen it.

He was rapidly going from a pale pink to a bright red as he loosened and tightened his grip on the other's hand. He can't decide if he wants to shake him off and run or slow down and go back to pretending he hadn't started talking. He seemed to be attempting both at the same time and it was not working for him. After a few metres he seemed to collect himself and slowed to Jeremy's side, letting their hands hang between them comfortably.

He shifted as he was nudged but seemed reluctant to look up at the other again, his eyes were vaguely locked on the concrete below him. He hoped if he did not mention it again then Jeremy would just forget it, this seemed unlikely. He sighed softly and drummed his fingers on the back of the other's hands.

"It doesn' matter."

The pink tinge to his friend's cheeks was something he didn't pay much mind to at first, but now, with Rémy's face growing increasingly similar in color to the shade of his shirt, Jeremy was definitely not about to be derailed from his determination to get an answer out of the other. It wasn't often that he saw Rémy get like this--around Sam he had been sometimes, but that was something he didn't want to think about right then--so any time he did now was something that wouldn't be ignored.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow at Rémy as he expectantly waited for an answer, but he was far from surprised when that wasn't what he received. At the pattering of fingertips against his hand, Jeremy stuck his other hand in his pocket and leaned over slightly to get a better viewing angle of the other's face. "If it really doesn't matter, Look me in the face and say that."

He kept looking ahead for a long moment before turning back to stare sheepishly at Jeremy, his mouth shut tightly. Jeremy could be very, very stupid sometimes but every now and then he would say something so flawlessly logical. He had nothing to say back to that, nothing to justify his silence. So he stood infront of Jeremy looking uncharacterisitically befuddled by his words. Occasionally flicking his eyes up to meet the others.

He opened his mouth slowly and tried to word what was on his mind. "We are.....it's like...." He choked a little on his words and swore breathily. "I just...." He was rapidly going a dark shade of pink again, growing more and more frustrated. "I can't....I can't say it! It's too embarrasing..." He shakes his head a few more times before staring at his feet.

As stupid and ridiculous as Jeremy’s antics could get, the boy was far from being an idiot. In truth, the reason he often comes off as one is because he only ever really uses his brain when he deems the situation or the person involved to be worth his time to do so. Raising an eyebrow at Rémy’s shyness, he briefly glanced around at the passersby and caught some of them lingering a second longer than necessary as they passed the two obviously male teens, still conspicuously holding hands.

Oh.

Two good looking guys holding hands was one of those things that chicks liked to take pictures of and post on their blogs, wasn’t it?

Not that Jeremy didn’t enjoy getting that kind of attention, but he knew Rémy wasn’t the same as him in that he didn’t like being made a spectacle. Upon realizing this, Jeremy abruptly released his friend’s hand and instead went behind him to steer the other by his shoulders into one of the nearby clothing stores. Whatever had Rémy so worked up, he was going to find out one way or another. “Lemme take care of that.”

Without any further explanation, Jeremy was suddenly weaving in and out between the numerous tables and racks of clothing, pulling pants, shirts, and brand name boxers even, from the shelves and gathering them up into his arms. It wasn’t until he could carry no more that he marched straight back over to Rémy and shoved half of what he’d just gathered into the other’s chest. Giving his friend a quick wink, he pushed the other towards the dressing rooms where an attendant sat waiting behind a desk.

Smiling cordially at them, the girl reached for her keys and stood just as the two teens approached. “Two dressing rooms for you boys?”
“Nah, one’ll be good. My pal here is getting ready for a date, an’ I’m helping him out.” With his signature stupidly cocky charming grin on his face, he slung an arm around Rémy’s shoulders and jostled him playfully, much to the other girl’s amusement.

“Must be a lucky girl then,” she smiled back wide and chuckled as she beckoned for the two to follow her. “You two need anything, I’ll be right there at the desk if you need me.”

Rémy felt somewhat like a ragdoll as Jeremy rushed about, leading him around and aiding the situation. He moved so fast it was difficult for Rémy to catch up, especially when his mind was being so sluggish right now. He felt comforted by how Jeremy always knew how to take care of him, something about it made him feel so safe and warm...He very nearly swooned when he saw that grin. How pathetic.

He groaned and sank onto the seat of the fitting room they were guided into, looking at the clothing to attempt to distract himself. Inwardly, he was berrating himself. What the hell was he thinking, seriously? He hadn't felt like this about someone since he had first started dating Samuel. The feeling was familiar, but so strange to him. So strange to be feeling it for Jeremy of all people. Up until now he'd only felt a platonic love for him, like one would for their best friend. He supposed both of them had come out of their shells a bit since they were theiving crayons from each other. Or maybe it was only now he was noticing Jeremy as something more. He was certainly attractive, with his bright bue eyes and his brilliant smile and such a nicey toned body. He wasn't big like Samuel, but that gave him a less threatening air, despite him being quite muscular under all of that clothing. Perhaps because there was a knowledge that Jeremy would never lay a finger on him, even if Rémy was carelessly kicking and punching at him, he never really hurt him. Samuel had a tendancy to grab at Rémy or push at him, at least, when he was drunk...

He seemed to be pondering a pair of jeans intently while his train of thought travelled a very windy road, he glanced up at Jeremy and met up with his eyes. He didn't know it, but he was staring at him with the biggest, most pitiful puppy dog eyes known to man.

Jeremy remained standing with his ear pressed to the door, listening for the attendant's footsteps to fade away as she returned to her desk. The last thing they needed right now was to find some eavesdropper standing by their door while Jeremy tried to help sort out whatever was on his friend's mind. Once he was sure the girl would not be returning, he grinned for a moment and unceremoniously dropped the pile of clothing into the corner of the room before turning back to face his friend. "Alright, so what's got you so worked up, Rem?"

At least, that's what he'd been about to say before he saw that look. In all their years together, Jeremy had seen Rémy at his very best, and during his lowest of lows, but even then he'd never felt such an irrationally strong desire to do just about anything to get that hopelessly pathetic expression off of his face. It broke his heart to see his best friend this way, and he for once was almost at a loss for what to say. Almost.

Taking the pile of clothes from Rémy's lap and dumping that onto the floor, he squished his way onto the small bench seat next to the other and turned to gently nudge the side of Rémy's head with his own. "Hey, what's goin' on? You okay?"

He hangs his head a little, shrugging his shoulders at the other's question and taking his time to answer. After all, his feet were just asking to be stared at.

"I am no'...worked up....I am just confused..." He hates how long it's taking for him to say anything so he just vomits out what he was thinking (and thankfully not his lunch) "Errr, we 'ave been friends for what? 5 years? More? And..I know I just got out of a bad relationship...but I want to be wizh you, Jeremy. You're so sweet and kind and.." He's starting to go bright red. "We're friends, right? Best friends! Kissing won't make it different, will it?" He won't admit that he's been looking at Jeremy's lips curiously for some time now, wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

He slumps even more on the bench, looking horrified at what he just said. He looks up sheepishly "Will it...?"